As my daughter Sasha turns 23 this month it’s only befitting that this post celebrates the joys of being a mum. I rarely admit this to anyone for fear of being shunned from the ‘mummy club’, but the truth is I never harboured an overwhelming desire to be a mother. Children were definitely a part of our plans when we got married but family planning was never a focal point.
As a nurse I was constantly surrounded by women and the conversation often centred around the topic of babies. Not just having babies, but number of babies, month that would be ideal for them to be born, and precise gaps between having said babies! It made someone like me who wasn’t bursting with maternal instincts feel like somewhat of a pariah. I often wondered that perhaps there was really something wrong with me for not identifying with this train of thought.
So I silently kept my feelings well hidden but reassured myself that when the time was right, I would know. Lo and behold the day came when I was diagnosed with the proverbial bun in the oven. Gerrard and I were on holiday in Malaysia and I vividly recall the day the news was delivered by our long time family doctor (Dr. Bob). My first reaction was one of total panic and then intense worry that I still wasn’t walking on cloud nine or shouting it from the roof tops. Whilst well wishers were patting Gerrard on the back and family and friends were throwing their arms around me, I felt like I was in a bubble and detached from it all.
Then it all miraculously changed the day I had my first scan. Looking at the screen whilst this little shadow moved and floated peacefully in its little cocoon, was when I fell totally in love! Suddenly it all made sense. I was bestowed a precious gift and granted the most important job in the world. At that moment I knew that life would never be the same.
Sasha was born at 5.45 on the 27th of September weighing a whopping 9lbs 12 ounces and from the moment I looked at her face I was totally besotted. With rosy cheeks, button nose and beautiful brown eyes, she was the most beautiful little person I’d ever seen. The years to follow I watched her slowly transform from a delightful funny and cheeky child into the kind, caring, bright, and gorgeous woman she is today. She has been a shoulder to cry on during difficult times and we’ve spent countless moments of laughter together. I now can’t even imagine our lives without her and so very grateful to god above for his blessing.
Happy birthday my darling girl xxxx
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